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I love to look through my search term results on WordPress sometimes. It’s a function on the dashboard that allows you to see what terms people have typed into search engines (Google, Yahoo, Bing) that resulted in your blog showing up and them clicking on it.
This provides me with twofold entertainment:
1. It shows me some really strange-ass terms that brought people to my blog. Apparently I write about some odd topics.
2. Some of y’all are freaks. I can’t believe some of the terms people actually search for. I mean, like… what the hell are you looking for that for? Maybe you just picked some words out of a hat?
I present to you the screen shot of the terms which have brought people to my blog in the last 7 days…
I tried to make it as big as I could, you’ll probably have to click on it to read it.
I have to tell you the first one that jumps out is “junior gay boys”. Now, I am not exaggerating when I say that term is usually in there a few times a week. Now I know it’s because I wrote a blog about 6 months ago on a gay couple being allowed to go to the prom at a local all boys Catholic school. But I’m a little afraid to know the intentions of the people searching that term. I just searched the term… I’m the only result that’s not gay porn. Go me! But I guess kind of fits in with me being a gay-friendly blog and all. P.S. if you’re faint of heart, don’t go searching that term and click on the “triple decker” video. Ew.
The next one that really fascinates me is “sweatpants single I threw up lets have sex”. Uh…. I just uh, I’m drawing a blank there. I can’t think of anything I wrote that comes remotely close to this. So I Googled that term, I didn’t even get my blog as a result, but this gem came up, apparently it’s a thread on a message board…
Well, glad to know we all have problems.
The moving down the list “trust on my ass”. I remember I wrote a blog “I’d Only Trust My Ass to a Professional” about trial by jury. But why would you search that? Maybe “trust in my ass” or “trust my ass” or even “trust ass”, but “on” I don’t get it. Of course I Googled and got a bunch of vulgar song lyrics but then right below my blog result, was a result for “Asset Protection Trusts”. At least something useful showed up.
“Broke Single Mom blog” well duh, that search term has me written all over it.
“Ass Only Blogspot”, well now that seems logical. I’m thinking that may be a blog written by a power bottom or total bottom. (gay terms, look ’em up… or wait maybe some of you shouldn’t. That means you Mom.) But in my Google search I got a chuckle out of this one… Ass Lovers Paradise. Do not click on it! It’s a tumblr account. It shows some vajay, so don’t look. I mean, you can if you want but it’s NSFW (Not Safe For Work) But I still can’t think of what I wrote that would prompt that term, because nothing showed up when I searched. Maybe the above ass blog?
And then finally there is “madge vhlg dsil.” WTF? Were ya’ drunk? Slurred typing? In searching I’m thinking vhlg and dsil are HTML terms? Maybe? No? Somebody? Maybe they were trying to write “Madge Vagisil”? Or maybe “Madgisil”? How rude.
See how easy it is to amuse me? So any of you bloggers out there ever do this? What are some of the more bizarre or chuckle-inducing terms you’ve found?
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