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Act your Age, Not Your Bra Size

Age is just a number… isn’t it?

I have no idea what the title of this blog means, but it just popped into my head and sounded funny.

I’m forty *muffled next number* years old.  Sometimes emotionally, I feel 5.  (you know when you get scared or lonely?).  Hipness-wise I feel about oh 27. (I know what’s trending but have enough sense to know what’s gonna’ last)  Physically I feel about, eh 35.  Maturity, I feel every bit of my forty *muffled next number* years.  Fun seeking-wise I feel… some days I feel 14, some 30, some 21, some 4.  My fun ranges from primitive toddler motions, to kid silliness, to complete drunken filthy raunch.  So I’ve got that goin’ for me…

Some people say, act how you feel.  But what if you’re a 45 year old woman that feels like an 18 year old slutty girl?  That’s really sad and embarrassing, in my opinion.  But if that’s what she wants to do… should she, can she?  Should anyone be able to do whatever the hell they want?

I was watching that show “Couples Therapy” on Vh1.   And they had that internet attention whore  girl Courtney Stodden who at 16 married some has been actor named Doug Hutchison that’s 53 (or something) years old.  Are either one of them acting their age by choosing someone in such a completely different stage of life?  Should we care?  Me personally, I could never date anyone with more than like a maybe 7 year difference either way.  I like someone who can get my pop culture references.  I don’t want to have to explain who Mr. Whipple is to anyone.

Now this broad does not dress her age.  Well, now she is 18 and I think she dresses more like an over the hill stripper or hooker.  The other people on Couples Therapy said her dress and behavior were distracting.  She said she was going to dress how she wanted because she was saving lives.  *ahem*  Yes, she said people on the internet were thanking her profusely for just being who she was and making them feel free to be who they want to be regardless of what anyone thinks.


Oh sorry.  I didn’t know people feeling free to dress like a stripper was the Lord’s work.

Well, ya’ know, maybe I’m wrong.  I know not everyone likes the way I act or dress.  I’ve been into the punk scene since I was in junior high in the late 70s.  Haven’t always dressed all out, but I’ve been supportive of those that do.  So when I do, it’s me, middle aged woman dressing like a 19 year old punk.  Is that any better than Slutty McSlutterson up there?

I have two teenage daughters.  I would neeeeeeever let them go out looking like that.  And I don’t think they would, they believe in themselves.  But ya’ know it doesn’t mean I don’t have to remind them that they are 13 and 15 and not a 26 year old at a nightclub, every once in a while.  Let’s stay in your age range girls, there are a certain number of men out there that like the youngins and don’t have good intentions, let’s cut down the odds of approach.

And yes when I was younger I struggled with self-respect and self-esteem.  All females do at one point.  You want attention but your Mother says, “You don’t want THAT kind of attention”.  You want a boy to like you but will giving him a handy make him fall in love with you?  Odds are no.   Will dressing like the cool alternative kid win more friends and influence people?  Will it get you a job as an executive?  Probably not, unless it’s a record company.

When I was in college I had the sides of my head shaved.  I thought I was wicked cool.  I was making an “I don’t conform for anybody” statement.  However, as I was getting ready to graduate I realized no one in the regular working world wants to give me a real job with this assinine haircut.  It was 1987, things might be a little different now, everybody has piercings and tattoos and non-conformist stuff now.  But I was a rebel.  Rawr!   I was 21 but I needed to start acting like a responsible 30 year old, in order for me to be attractive to employers.

It all depends on what you’re trying to achieve I guess.  I didn’t come to a clear conclusion here, just throwing out thoughts against the wall and see what sticks.  Ya’ know Lady Gaga or this Courtney chick, they want press, and that’s exactly what they get.  Lady Gaga still gets props because she does have some actual musical talent (playing several instruments and what not), so her whacky gear suits her.  This Courtney girl, gets press and probably some money from selling nudies, but respect, acclaim, reverance… nuh uh.  But if she doesn’t care… who are we to say, right?  I don’t know.  To each his own. But what if your “own” puts you in danger of being raped or attacked (wearing a t-shirt with a racial slur or promoting gay rights)?  Dress at your own risk, I guess?  Good luck out there, folks.

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