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  • margaretfmadigan

"Because it's Mine" is for Douchebags

I was trying to get my girls to a day camp that they are working at as “counselors” this morning. (more like “cat herders”) and I was so put off by something it triggered a blog in me.

So, I’m coming down a side street trying to turn right onto a main artery in the city… it’s at a dead stop for about 2 blocks.  What’s the hold up?  At this point the street goes down to one lane each way (is that called 2 lanes, then? I never get that right) and down the street a bit to the right is a Dunkin’ Donuts.  With a drive-thru.  There is a huge line for the drive-thru which goes all the way out to the entrance.  Now some dickhead is sitting in the street waiting to turn right into the DD to get in the drive-thru line.  Now, said dickhead could have very easily pulled around the line and gone into a parking space and walked in and gotten his/her Mocochocolatte (ya ya) and Big ‘n Toasty breakfast sandwich with extra cholesterol at the counter in less time it would have taken to wait in the drive-thru line.

But nooooooooo.  Dickhead decides it’s better to keep rush hour traffic at a stand still on this fine summer morning.  There are other people on the street that need to get to work or get their Mocochocolatte somewhere else, asshole!  Surely this person has a rear view mirror?  Oh I might also add, there is another moron coming the other way in the left-hand turning lane waiting for an opportunity to get in the drive-thru line.  That person is even dumber because traffic is at a stand still, plenty of opportunity to turn left… into a parking space.  God forbid you have to get our of your Prius and walk two steps because after all look what good you are doing for the world with your environmentally conscious Prius, everyone should pay homage to you!  Douchus Maximus.

Then as I’m driving home, I’m pulling through an intersection approaching a busy city street with cars parked on both sides and coming towards me in my lane is a runner.  Running out in the street, between the parked cars and oncoming traffic.   In the left lane, the traffic coming toward me lane, is a city bus approaching.  If I proceed, I either hit the guy or hit the bus, it’s pretty tight.  What does runner, uh I mean jogger do?  Yea, he was so slow as to be called a jogger.  Almost a trudger to be exact.  He doesn’t move, stays in street.  I get the whole thing about the street being softer than the sidewalk thing for runners… ok not really, I never notice a difference and I think it’s stupid.  But don’t you think you could at least momentarily hop on the sidewalk to avoid an accident/congestion/international incident?  I’ve seen runners get so mad about their God-given right to run in the street that they have flipped off or banged on cars that get too close as they are avoiding a collision from the other side.   When they stop running they probably get in their Prius and go to the drive-thru lane at the Dunkin’ Donuts.

(I come from a huge family of runners, don’t get me wrong, I love runners, just not dickbag ones)

Here’s my beef… don’t people think about the greater good anymore?  It’s not, it’s just what’s good for me, it’s how you effects others.  One thing that absolutely drives me insane is when I’m having a debate with someone and their uber intellectual answer why they think their way is the best way is, “Because they’re mine!”  Example:

Why don’t you think there should be certain parameters for gun ownership?  “Because they’re MINE!”  “The 2nd Amendment, blah blah blah and they’re MINE!”

Why don’t you feel you should have to clean all the old appliances off your lawn so the neighborhood doesn’t seem seedy?  “Because it’s MINE!”

We’re all roommates, why can’t you just move your toiletries to make room?  “Because they’re MINE!”

Why don’t you want those immigrants coming into our country?  “Because this country is MINE/OURS!”

Why don’t you want someone to pat your clothes in the airport just to make sure you’re not a terrorist?  “Because they’re MINE!”

You get the picture.  Don’t you know what an asshole you sound like?  Do you know who else proclaims things are MINE all the time?  Two year olds.  That’s who.  One of the first words my son said as a 14 month old was “MINE!”


(This  is not my child)

Just because you can physically do something, legally have a right to do something, or want to do something, means you should.  Has society become this self-absorbed?   Or am I the only one that thinks being obstinate and “standing up for your rights” is pigheaded, self-centered, ignorant douchebaggery?  Yes, we have certain rights but sometimes it’s not all about us.   Perhaps we all should try to remember something my Mother said many times while raising kids… “The world doesn’t revolve around you, ya’ know.”  Amen, Madelyn.  Amen.

Oh in case you are interested, here is the video of my TV interview the other day.  Click Here

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