• margaretfmadigan

Hello, I Loathe You – Being Friendly to People You Can't Stand

I’ve always taught my children that “hate” is a very strong and serious word.   Unless of course you are referring to shoes.  You can definitely hate ugly shoes.  Oh also you are allowed to hate that disgusting sound that guys make when they are trying to clear their sinuses via their throat and mouth.  However, we shouldn’t use it regarding people.  Never once have my kids played the “I hate you” card on me or any of their siblings or Father or friends.  I’m pretty proud of that.  *pats back*  I’ve taught them that words can hurt and can come back to bite them.

But you know, sometimes it does slip out when say, someone is watching TV and maybe like Teresa Guidice from RHONJ will come on and my daughter will say, “Oh my God, I hate her”.  Sometimes I’ll say “Now now, hate is a very strong word” and… sometimes I’ll just forget about it because I hate her too.  I mean, I “can’t stand” her.

I try to use the words “I can’t stand…”.  By the way, I don’t know where my aversion to the word hate came from, I guess my Mother.  She always said not to use it, I guess that’s her attempt at a kinder, gentler world.

So, to get to the main point of this blog… there are people I just can’t stand in this world.  I also pride myself on being honest and true to my beliefs.  But I do think being honest and true to my beliefs doesn’t mean I have to be an asshole to people I don’t care for.  Right?

I can’t be the only jerk that has people in my life that I can’t stand, yet I see them regularly and treat them civilly, nay even pleasantly?  Am I a two-faced twat?  (in my world twat is pronounced as the British do with a short A instead of a long one, sounds less offensive, like cat)  Please say it isn’t so?  Come on, really guys… I’m just being nice.  Or instead of a pleasant greeting should I look at them, fold my arms, and say “You annoy the shit out of me”?

Really, don’t you have people that you have to interact with frequently that you just can’t stand?  The very thought of them makes your skin crawl and your eye twitch?  I do.  Ok, I’ll tell you a secret…

There is a person who I interact with… hmmm, you never know who reads this blog, I’ll try to be vague.  This person, well, um… I run into them sometimes at a place that is very important to my friend so I can’t make waves.  But um… I have interactions with this person outside of that place and listening to this person makes me want to stab my own eyeballs with a rusty screwdriver and then kick them in the face with my fabulous Jessica Simpson stilettos I got at TJ Maxx for $15.  This person is sooooo narcissistic, a complete attention whore, and has a superiority complex.  Yes, they think everything they know or do is far superior to you.  But they aren’t snobby and dry, they are condescending in a cutesie way.  It’s maddening because it’s so well masked, those without superior intellect like myself can’t sense it.  (ya see what I did there, oh the irony)  And worst of all they think they are really hip when they are incredibly lame.  I find that to be the most offensive.  Clutch the pearls!

But it is necessary to keep the peace.  Right?  RIGHT?  Or am I being a big phony baloney because I really loathe this person down deep inside?  Oh yes, I love the word loathe… I guess loathe > hate, but hate sounds more angry.  Loathe just portrays utter contempt.  Ok whatever, it’s semantics… take it up with Madelyn.  That’s my Mother.  I guarantee she will still tell you not to say hate, even though she says she hates Rush Limbaugh.  Again, do not argue with this 86 year old feisty Irish woman… you will not win.

I digress… do we always have to be “a hunert”?  That’s how the cool gangsta urban kids say “100%” as in “I’m being 100% honest with you”.  Must I always be completely honest in regards to my feelings or dealings with people?  I kind of “hate” myself every time I am nice to someone I can’t stand but then I also feel I did the right thing.   Ya’ know being Catholic and all, that whole “Do unto others” jazz.  But it’s a yucky feeling when those two feelings clash and I feel the need to shower and scrub with a loofah.  But I guess my final thought is, there wouldn’t be terrorism or hate crimes or war if people just kept their feelings of dislike/contempt/loathing… even hate, to themselves.  *kicks dirt*

#Civility #Love #Loathe #AnnoyingPeople #Honesty #Hate

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