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  • margaretfmadigan

R-E-J-E-C-T, Find Out What it Means to Me

Job searches and dating, what do they have in common?  If you’re like me, lots and lots of rejection!  haha, ok a little self deprecating humor there, but no really, lots of rejection.  But a “lot” is relative.

In this day and age searching for jobs involves loads and loads of rejection.  The number of job seekers is highly disproportionate to the amount of job openings.  Unless of course you want to be a telemarketer, there seems to be an endless supply of those jobs.

So which is worse?  Going out on a date say once every other week and having each of those dates let you know that “no further action is required”.  Which um, did not happen to me, I’ll let you know that my retention rate was pretty high (pre-relationship).  😉  Or sending out tens of resumes each week and never even getting a call for an interview on 98% of those?

I understand and can fully accept the rejections that are based on finding someone more suitable (either job or dating), or that it just didn’t click.  But it can get tough as it accumulates.

Then you factor in that that you can waste plenty of time on scams in either case .  In dating, there are plenty of men who are not available and just playing a game talking to you and getting your phone number.  They are either married, not wanting a relationship, just looking for sex, or weirdo pervs that just want to touch your feet or something.  Whatever the reason I get pissed off when somebody knowingly wastes my time in dating.  Even more so in job searches.

You wouldn’t believe (or maybe you do), the number of job posting scams out there.  I try to be sooooo careful.  I can usually spot a job that is not real.  It’s usually a scam with them either asking for you to send money to set up your “business” or they want you to launder money for them.  If I do happen to send a resume and carefully individually crafted cover letter, I can tell by their response and next order of action if it’s a scam.  Then I get really steamed.  I want to find them and punch them in the face, 1. For being a scumbag scamming thief, and 2. For wasting the time and energy of a hardworking job seeker like myself.  Maybe if they put their time, energy, and creativity into a legitimate job, they’d be very successful.

Then there is the  annoyance of listening to people with well meaning advice.  Everybody has a solution.  Instead of responding to someone saying “I’m looking for a job” with “Well have you looked on Craigslist?”, trying asking questions.  Of course the person has looked on Craigslist and every other f-in’ place!  Ask them, what are you looking for?  Where are you looking for job listings?  How long has it been?  Then maybe suggest something useful or just say I’ll let you know if I hear of something.  Don’t be a condescending douchebag who treats everyone like they’re an idiot because they can’t find a job.  We live in a complex world, some people do very specific things and it’s tough to find enough of those jobs to go around.

As an extension of that, you get the “well just get something, anything” or the people that say “hold out for a job that you deserve”.  Well then, someone is going to call me a freeloader if I stay on UI until I find the right job, and I’ll feel guilty.  Or I could get “just any job” for minimum wage that would put me further in a hole financially because I made more on UI.  But alas, “just getting any job” is not all that easy.  If you are a person with any sort of professional experience or education, “just any job” such as retail or housecleaning, will not hire you because you are obviously over qualified and they know as soon as you get a “real” job, you’ll be gone.  Been there.

In either case, dating or job hunting, it’s hard NOT to take things personally, especially if you’re suffering a large amount of rejection at one time.  And in either case, the more you put yourself out there, the more rejection you are apt to have.  *sigh*  “Keep the faith”.  Oh yea?  Screw you.  “It’s a numbers game”.  Oh yea?  Well I got yer numbers right here.  “You will  find a job eventually”.  Oh yea?  Tell that to my kids who would like to eat today.  “Love will find you when you least expect it”.  Oh yea?  Apparently I’ve found 18 cats that feel that way, thanks.

But… we go on.  There are days we don’t want to go on.  But we do.  It’s normal.  So we write a blog, rant on Facebook, rant to a friend, get drunk, sleep for 14 hours.  However you cope.  And then we go on.  *heavy sigh*

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