Like Bill Murray Said, "It's in the Hole!"
Lots of action on the street today!
I work from home and I live in a nice city, somewhat trendy neighborhood. Lots of large colonial homes, a good bit of them are split into a few apartments that house just out of college 20 somethings. Lots of duplexes too.
Anyway, for a few weeks now a bunch of contractors from Rochester Gas and Electric have been digging up the street, converting all of our gas meters from inside to outside so power can be cut off easier in case of emergency.
My first bit of excitement was listening to a huge shouting match between the “boss” (crew leader, foreman, whatever) and a crew member. Not sure what started it but boss was yelling about the guy giving him lip. Boss says something about if you’re going to have that attitude you can just go home. The guy keeps saying, “Ok boss, whatever you need. If that’s what you want” I hear continued jabbering and the boss yells something like “You keep going, you want to keep up talking like that, you’ll be off this crew.” Subordinate says, “If that’s what you need boss, whatever”. They continue to go back and forth as guy is packing up his gear with “if that’s what you want”, “yea, if you keep it up. Is that what you want?” It got a little comical, like a couple threatening to break up… “Fine then we’re breaking up.” “Sure, if that’s what you want.” “Well, I know that’s what you want.” “Ok, fine so we’re broken up then”
It was funny… there is a certain accent some working class guys have up here, it’s a combination of Western NY accent that has nasally sounding short A’s (not nearly as bad as Chicago but similar) and New Jersey sounding tough guy. It’s a combo of Upstate and Downstate. Anyway, it was funny to hear those two guys having their bromance quarrel.
Then as that is settling down… the lady that lives directly across the street in one of the duplexes comes barreling backing out of her driveway in her shitbox hooptie sedan. Now, they are right smack in front of her house actively working on it. They have the whole front sidewalk and front portion of her driveway dug out. They had these two big metal sheets lying over the hole of the driveway.
I happened to be looking out when this happens because I work at my laptop right in front of the window. She comes barreling out and separates the metal over the hole and her back tires fall in the hole. I’m half gasping and laughing as the contractors are yelling “woah woah woah” just as she’s charging down the driveway. Then the foreman is yelling politely in his NJ hybrid tone “Woah hey, you just can’t come out like that, you needed to warn us”. What was said after that, I don’t know.
But seriously, they dug up my driveway too. They were the nicest guys at making sure to tell us what was going on, and they guided me in and out of the driveway every time I needed to. And I had enough brains to ask each time if it was ok, or did they need me to keep my car out of the driveway, etc. Duh.
So, this lady is stuck. I was half paying attention as I had stuff to do. They were now hooking up a chain to her bumper (covered by a blanket) and the uh, whattaya call it, diggger? Frontloader? Whatever thingy, was lifting up the back end of the car and were telling her when to move forward. In the meantime, this scrawny little bald douchebag neighbor with glasses in his 40s, always clad in t-shirt, jorts, and Teva sandals (1992 called, it wants it’s wardrobe back) comes out and starts shooting video with his phone. He video-ed until well after it was over too. I’m like dude, what? Are you making a documentary film to submit to Cannes? It’s done, go away!
Now, I have seen this guy out several times in the last couple weeks with his big ole Nikon marching up and down the street taking pictures of the construction sites and vehicles and such. Mostly after they are gone for the day. I don’t think he’s creating art, I think he’s trying to document something. He’s probably the same type of person who creates petitions for city council to make the sewer grates cleaner or some bullshit.
He’s like the fucking Gladys Kravitz of the street. “Abnah! The Stevens’ are having people over again!” A couple years ago before I lived here I was over visiting Tony. I parked on the street while Tony was inside, so we could get his car out of the driveway. I pull in a spot right across the street in between two driveways. I’m an experienced city street parker, I know there will be other people needing to park. But I also know the driveways need enough room for cars to get out. This little douchebucket comes out of the house waving at me as I get out “You need to pull up further, other cars need to park. There’s room for another car if you pull up.” I tell him I know, and that I’m fine, I’ve parked here before, I’ve left enough room.
He then goes prattling on about I’m wrong, he’s been living here for 20 years or whatever and he knows blah blah blah. So to get him to shut the fuck up, I move up a couple inches. He then gives me the prissy, snippy, “I told you so” dismissive “Thank you!” and kind of waves me off. I wanted to take off my stiletto and heave it at him so the heel would stab him right in the back of his fucking skull.
So I don’t know what the “Jort Crusader” thinks he is, the guardian of the street or something? You just know he’s gonna’ take that video and try and sue RG&E with this lady or something. They are just neighbors, they aren’t together or anything, so I guess he thinks he’s ya’ know Buford Pusser in “Walking Tall” or something. He’s going to save our street from all injustices. Or perhaps just his little slice of heaven will be protected.
I’m just tired of people whipping out their camera at every turn now. And they usually create more drama by doing so. What do you think of people like that? Are they trying to protect people from big corporate injustice… or just pain in the asses looking for a reason to complain.