"Miley, Joe Francis Wants to Know if He Can See Your Boobs"
Yea, for lack of anything better to write today (which is balogna, I have a lot, just not the time), I’m going to hop on the Miley Cyrus search engine train. Yes, hopefully I’ll show up in a search and all will come flocking to my blog! Pfffft.
Anyway, my two cents…
I was her once. Well, not that I was a child star trying to make my mark in the grownup world… I mean I was her age once. The age where you are caught between child and adult. I think every woman has gone through this, some to different degrees of course. I get it, I get it, you’ve had to be so squeaky clean for years and being raised in the spotlight with a Dad with bad hair and all… it’s tough.
It happens… as girls we are taught to be good, polite, pretty, smart, demure, and neatly dressed. But at some point we get all “You can’t tell me what to do! I’m an adult now, I can do anything I want!” Add to that you start to get tingly sensations in your naughty bits that you never had before and you’re just dying for someone to touch your boobies. But most likely you still live it home (whether in college or not), still have stuffed animals on your bed, and still enjoy a Disney movie when you are home alone. Stuck between a kid and an adult place.
She speaks for every girl who got shit-faced, snot-hanging drunk in her first weekend at college and danced on the bar, showed her boobs, and did some grinding on the faculty adviser of that one fraternity house. Except this chick did it in front of millions and will forever be on tape. Of course regular college girl could have same problem if Joe Francis and “Girls Gone Wild” comes around taping. “Go ahead start making out with your friend and show us your tit-tays”
Lucky for college girls of my day, the only capturing of the night was done in memory and with time people forget.
I’m not saying what she did was bad or whatever… it was just dumb. It was just a shock-value thing. There was no artistic-value whatsoever – the singing was bad and she can’t dance. And the part of having all big-bootied black backup dancers was in poor taste. Like really poor racist-ish taste. Who didn’t think that one through?
Girl just looked stupid. Yes, yes it’s fun to play with a foam hand and pretend it’s a phallic symbol, we’ve all done it (what, you haven’t?)… but that’s your performance on national TV? We call her performance “the shit you did in your dorm room with friends as you’re getting ready to go out.” And that’s probably where it should stay.
But above all… put your mother fuckin’ tongue back in your mouth! Ain’t nothin’ sexy ’bout that. Every 2 seconds with the tongue! You know who puts their tongue out like that all the time? People I used to work with in an institution who were severely mentally disabled with Down’s Syndrome, that’s who. Not to be un-PC, but ya’ ever hear the term “window licker”? I rest my case.
I just watched the video again. I wasn’t offended, I just feel really embarrassed for her. It was just dumb. No need to crucify or chastise her. But if she wanted press… she achieved her goal. High-five, Miley!
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